This n that

Bluff overlooking Teklanika River, Denali Natʻl Park, Alaska

What am I most proud of?  Heʻs standing there in front of me.  Over 15 years in the making and an ever amazing work in progress.  The most precious part of my life.  My son, Connor.

 

He has stood up for kids who were being bullied.  Years afterward, he was bullied but somehow found it within himself to walk away and not give the offender the satisfaction of knowing he was bothered by it.  I really donʻt think thereʻs a mean bone in his body.

Heʻll play video games till the cows come home but will help me out with ideas for crafts Iʻm completing. Proof that kids can make something without a joystick, left trigger, X to jump and Y to exit.

 

He loves to ride a fast, stinky, noisy snowmachine across the tundra but is content to sit quietly and fish on a summer day.  Or hike the river with Auntie Ti.

When he was in first grade, someone made fun of him for coloring a giraffe green.  It hurt his feelings very much.  He told me about it when he got home.  I asked if he remembered what Iʻd always told him about art.  He said, "yes, you said art is whatever you make it and you can do it however you want because thatʻs why itʻs called art".  His teacher said the next time they had an art project Connor very nicely shared our thought about what art is.  There were no more problems and, in fact, the other kid loosened up with his own art guidelines.  Too funny!  Wonder if there were purple hippopotomuses and pink iguanas in class that day.

Oh and heʻs taller than me.  In case he reads this at some point Iʻd better include it.  Taller.  Taller.  Taller.

At times the teenage attitude rears its ugly head.  Thankfully not often so far.  We butt heads at times but thatʻs to be expected. No grudges are held and things resolve quickly because we talk.  Ok sometimes we go to separate rooms to cool off but in the end itʻs only a matter of minutes before weʻre back on track.

He has a heart of gold, filled with love and kindness.  As painful as it is at times to see him hurt by words or actions, heʻs well enough grounded that he bounces back.  Onward and upward!  

He has remained true to himself and not been swayed by the "in crowd" to do otherwise.  In fact, one kid told him "you never want to do anything (drinking, out past curfew, shoplift) because your dadʻs a cop and your momʻs a dispatcher" to which he answered "No!  I donʻt want to do those things because theyʻre wrong to do no matter who my parents are".  Bam!  (And, yes, I know itʻs dumbfounding to think kids his age are already drinking.  Unfortunately in my line of work weʻve seen them as young as 10 years old.)  Heʻs a freshman now and, though high school years can be rough, so far so good.  

Letʻs hope his strength and character hold strong.  I know there will be slips along the way but isnʻt that how you learn life best?  He has family here to support him through it all, too, which I think in many cases tips the scales in a kidʻs favor.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On an earlier post mentioning the trip to Teklanika, pictured above and below, my sister commented: "Interesting how sometimes we forget how quickly our little babies are maturing. How we just assumed all these years that they were ignoring those 'boring' moments with us. When in actuality they have weaved them so quietly into their own fuzzy sweaters of life that they love to snuggle with. Sis"   Love the way you worded that, Sis.  And oh how true.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eyes forward

Ever get that uneasy feeling?

Kodak moments

 

To those with an eye for photography, the lighting is far from perfect in these photos.  The viewer has no connection to the image so they may critique it.  But I see the events before and after the shutter button was pressed.

Pictures can take us back in time.  They can trigger memories and feelings stored away in our psyche. If you look at a familiar picture say of your child or your vacation,  chances are youʻre not judging it for first place ribbon potential.  Instead your mind begins playing like a movie as you recall the time surrounding when the image was captured onto a disk or film negative.  Younger readers may need to refer to Websterʻs to understand "film negative".  Aged myself with that statement, I suppose.

The first photo was taken from the gravel bars of the Teklanika River in Denali Park in mid-August at around midnight.  It was during a three day trip with Ti and her daughter, Des and my son, Connor.  We had finalized plans a month earlier and were excited for time to pass so we could head out to The Park.  As luck would have it, the dynamics of family life in my house changed dramatically the week before our trip.  Nevertheless we ventured on and enjoyed ourselves.  So for me the moon rising photo reminds me of how the world is calm even when life may jostle you around.  It reminds me of my precious son as he hugged me tight during a hike earlier that day and said, "Itʻll be okay, Mom".  Kids see through whatever facade you put up to protect them from your worries and pain. It reminds me of untapped strength in myself and those whom I hold dear.

 The sunset picture was taken while Connor and I drove six hours home to Fairbanks from Anchorage recently. He hooked up his iPod to the car stereo and we sang along to everything from Black Eyed Peas to Godsmack to Keltik Elektrik.  We made the usual stops along the way  for munchies and restrooms.  He even worked on his homework!  The autumn colors were the most spectacular theyʻve ever been north of Broad Pass.  I decided, however, that we wouldnʻt make photo stops since Connor had school the next day.  He was tired and we had two more hours to drive.  Yet as we zipped past a scenic lookout at 65mph, he shut off the radio, turned to me and pointed out the window, "You HAVE to pull over Mom!  Look at the sky, no WAY are you passing this up!".  Sure the sunset was gorgeous!  But when I look at the photo, I see a teenage boy who enjoyed a stop to view natureʻs beauty.  A boy who unabashedly sang a duet with his 40-something mom to My Humps; he was Will I Am and I was Fergie.  Probably good we were confined to the soundproof car.  Then there was the semi driver who flipped on his overhead floodlights, turned them to point into our eyes and purposely blinded us as he came down hill toward us.  Not sure what his issue was!  And I remember miles of no music as my boy and I chatted about trivial things and life issues.

A picture is indeed worth a thousand words and endless memories.

*******************************************

Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky ~ Rabindranath Tagore