Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Not the Marriott
STANDARD ROOM: Blindingly bright lights. Curtains on metal rings that zing along a metal rail near the ceiling. A thin mattress void of support or cushion. Crisp sheets too small for the mattress. Towels woven from a cotton/sandpaper mix. Pliable object approximately 18"x30" covered with a vinyl-like casing which is inside a white cotton bag. Object resists all attempts at fluffing. Rumor has it this is a pillow. Restroom has large entry, motion detector light and faucet, non-absorbent paper towels and strategically placed bars on the wall to grab should you attempt to meet with the floor prior to actually wanting to do so. There's even a pull-cord for room service in there. Pass on that for now, thank you.
AMENITIES: Silver tray on silver legs adjusted for bed occupant height. Not user friendly as it has no wheels for sliding it closer for actual usability. Need second set of hands in order for this to work. Blankets, made of slightly more cotton than sandpaper, come preheated. These appear upon demand, score! Large, easy to read remote control device for entertainment. Depending on your mood this can apply to the television or other humans in the vicinity. Pressing the "on/off" button gets the t.v. with about twenty channels to choose from. T.V. volume comes out of the remote so be sure to keep it within earshot. Pressing the "call" button activates centrally located humans. An audible "beee-boooooop" sound will be heard from the device followed by a "beee-boooooop" echo heard down the hall. A voice will converse with you then the room service mentioned earlier shows up with a blanket, water, pillow-like thing or whatever. Sliding glass hallway entry doors to each room unhinge from the top rail to become swing out doors for easy access when returning roll-away bed to the room.
BEWARE USER! Room service may show up unannounced with large amounts of blue fluid, requesting you drink it within a certain time frame. Staff may also come equipped with poky needles, syringes and vials. It's a give and take world though. They'll take blood. You get anti-nausea stuff and some pills and only minimal argument from them when you refuse pain meds. Their billing department receives an inordinate amount of cash from the insurance company for the night's visit. You walk away with a diagnosis, follow-up instructions, Rx for your enjoyment over the next ten days and an expensive pink flowerpot. The nurse worried the car ride home may turn me a little more green than normal, saying she didn't "mean to be the glass half empty type but better safe than sorry" as she handed it to us. So technically, it wasn't a flowerpot.....just a pretty expensive pink plastic pail paid for by Premera.
Friday night in the E.R. Seems in younger days there were better things to do on the weekend.
AMENITIES: Silver tray on silver legs adjusted for bed occupant height. Not user friendly as it has no wheels for sliding it closer for actual usability. Need second set of hands in order for this to work. Blankets, made of slightly more cotton than sandpaper, come preheated. These appear upon demand, score! Large, easy to read remote control device for entertainment. Depending on your mood this can apply to the television or other humans in the vicinity. Pressing the "on/off" button gets the t.v. with about twenty channels to choose from. T.V. volume comes out of the remote so be sure to keep it within earshot. Pressing the "call" button activates centrally located humans. An audible "beee-boooooop" sound will be heard from the device followed by a "beee-boooooop" echo heard down the hall. A voice will converse with you then the room service mentioned earlier shows up with a blanket, water, pillow-like thing or whatever. Sliding glass hallway entry doors to each room unhinge from the top rail to become swing out doors for easy access when returning roll-away bed to the room.
BEWARE USER! Room service may show up unannounced with large amounts of blue fluid, requesting you drink it within a certain time frame. Staff may also come equipped with poky needles, syringes and vials. It's a give and take world though. They'll take blood. You get anti-nausea stuff and some pills and only minimal argument from them when you refuse pain meds. Their billing department receives an inordinate amount of cash from the insurance company for the night's visit. You walk away with a diagnosis, follow-up instructions, Rx for your enjoyment over the next ten days and an expensive pink flowerpot. The nurse worried the car ride home may turn me a little more green than normal, saying she didn't "mean to be the glass half empty type but better safe than sorry" as she handed it to us. So technically, it wasn't a flowerpot.....just a pretty expensive pink plastic pail paid for by Premera.
Friday night in the E.R. Seems in younger days there were better things to do on the weekend.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
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